I like to talk, no, I like to talk A LOT , I’m one of those, (yes those) that seem to go on and on about the same thing to the point of boring the person listening to death, or so I’ve been told.
For me I like my quiet time, I like to have a lot of time on my own doing my own thing. But then when I do have things to discuss with someone, usually my wife or daughter. I do tend to talk a lot.
This is mainly down to the fact that I keep thinking of better ways to explain it. Or I feel I haven’t got my point across, or at least the person I’m talking to doesn’t seem to understand me as they haven’t said anything to indicate to me that they do.
Then there are the conversations where I go from one topic to another and people get lost as to what I’m talking about. I however have made a seamless transition from one subject to another and it makes perfect sense to me.
It’s just that the transition happened in my head I was thinking it, not saying it, so I know exactly what I’m talking about and why. While others are lost as to what the hell I’m talking about.
I’ve also been told that I’m very monotone which doesn’t help, as my voice doesn’t change tone its hard to understand if I’m being serious or joking and can come across as boring, so people, especially my wife tends to zone out, lose complete sense of what I’m talking about and usually ends up asking me to just write it down for her.
I remember even as a teenager people saying I talk a lot, maybe the long amounts of solitude I give myself doesn’t help. I have no idea? I do know that when I am around people more I never seem to run out of conversation.
The conversations I have are always about subjects that I want to talk about. If for some reason it’s not then I turn it around to what I want to talk about.
If anyone keeps the conversation on them, I just say right, right, agree with them then turn the conversation right back to my thing. If someone does manage to keep a conversation on their subject I tend to zone out.
The rudeness and bluntness, the ignorance, lack of eye contact and the mean, well, honest comments aren’t deliberate I don’t know when to talk or when to stop talking.
When someone is bored with the conversation, how they are feeling, my rudeness, and my honesty, I don’t realise it, or why people get hurt by it. It’s usually a case of “well you asked” and to be honest, if your asking a question you didn’t want a truthful answer to don’t ask an aspie.
I have at times tried to control my chattiness but when I’m around familiar people I can’t help it. It’s the complete opposite when I’m around strangers. Around strangers I just shut down staying quiet not wanting to talk and if asked a direct question tend to give yes and no answers.
One other big thing with me at least is first impressions, if someone I meet makes a bad first impression there is almost nothing they can do to make me change my mind. I stand firm on my first impression.
Also if I start out liking someone and then they over step the mark, and I start to see a different side to them, a side I don’t like, again its very hard to come back from that.
I know people who everybody likes, you know the sort, they are liked by everyone but me! They made a bad first impression and that’s it, I don’t like them. They just can’t understand why, I’m not comfortable around many people so it really doesn’t take much for me to put people in the ” I don’t like and don’t want to be around column.”
As for the people I do like, they, unfortunately for them, are the ones stuck with me talking their ears off and getting them lost in translation.