Today I’m home alone because my wife is out for the day, I love these days.
On a usual day the more things I do the longer it takes me. Let me explain….. I get very sidetracked doing anything if someone else is present, well someone I know well anyway. Every time I try to do something, I can do it but while I’m doing it I think of something else, so before I carry on I’ll go and talk to my wife about it.
For example, first thing in the morning isn’t too bad, go and make a cup of tea. This is done by whoever wakes up first no problem there, but then I usually check social media (as you do), play some games on my phone all the time forgetting about my tea. By now my tea is going cold so I drink it quick then go and make a coffee and have breakfast. All good so far then comes the hard part because now is the hazardous tasks of teeth, shave, shower and usually go to the toilet somewhere in there too.
The first job is more often than not delayed as every time I go to walk into the bathroom I will think of something, I’m heading into the bathroom then I suddenly turn back. “Oh I know what I was going to tell you” back in the room I come and talk some more. This can happen several times but eventually I will make it into the bathroom and maybe go to the toilet (get sidetracked playing games on my phone) and clean my teeth whilst thinking of something else then back to the bedroom “oh I know what I was going to say” and again try several times to get back to the bathroom but keep thinking of things to talk about.
Again I will make it back to the bathroom to have a shave but this time while I’m shaving I’ve probably got the door open so every so often I can pop my head round the door “oh by the way blah blah blah” then I’m finally done shaving, bearing in mind shaving is a back to front activity as I have a beard and a bald head so I’m shaving all of my head and a little bit of my face and neck.
Then guess what? yep back to the bedroom, more “Blah blah blah” more every time I try and leave. back I come like a bad penny! Seriously just ask my wife she’ll tell you as she will say I talk AT her which I do, because she doesn’t answer me much, being honest she doesn’t get many chances to, as half the time its like I’m talking to myself.
Asking and answering my own questions. She’s fine to start with she will talk a bit at the beginning but a little way in she went from answering me, to grunting at me, to just not saying much of anything just looking at me like “what have I done to you to deserve this”. I only know this because she’s told me.
I still can’t read faces to know when someone is bored, fed up or upset. I can get it, but only if crying is involved and crying with laughter, well that really messes with my head.
Anyway as you’ve probably noticed I’m doing it again getting sidetracked from what I was originally talking about so back we go.
Soooo I’m finally heading back to the bathroom hopefully for the final time, this is the home straight, shower and get dressed. I’ll even get some deodorant and after shave in there all in one fluid motion no getting sidetracked, and Yay, I’ve done it. Now what I should point out this process started at 7 am and its now gone 11 am getting on for lunchtime.
So you can see why I love it when my wife is out, no-one to talk to, doesn’t matter what I think of, everything gets done, one thing after another and I’ve done tea, coffee, meds, breakfast, teeth, shave and shower and its only just past 9 am. See the time that I saved, RESULT!!
Now I can get on with all the things I have to do today with no interruptions and my day runs like clockwork, its great.
While my wife thinks its also good because she doesn’t have to listen to me waffling on all morning. What she’s forgetting is…. I’m saving it ALL up for when she comes home.
Door opens “hello babe, when your in properly I want to talk to you” “oh shit I’m going back out”.